Change

It was a beautiful day today, and I had planned on being outside for most of it. I wanted to hang out with the salmon. But I ended up doing library work all day, which was cool.

I also spent most of the day fretting, worrying, dreading—and occasionally scanning job websites. Groan. Most of the library jobs are fulltime and most of the jobs involve spending the day sitting in front of a computer. Ugh. I loved being a branch librarian. I was with people. I was doing what I'm good at: managing and providing good library service to my community. I was also great at getting programs for my libraries.

Anyway, I was stressing. Why? Because Mario and I will find out if we still have jobs November 11. Now if life was fair, neither of us would be in trouble since we've worked for this library for 20 years plus each. Mario is probably all right because he is unionized. Librarians are not.

Isn't life interesting? I have been so grateful as of late that I have this job, that I have this life. And then it changes. Or could change. I have let go of New York publishing. It ain't working for me. It was, a couple of years ago, for about a minute. But generally speaking, I don't get them and they don't get me. Or something. I don't really understand any of it. I'm not going to stop writing, but I'm going to publish myself or find small publishers, preferably green publishers.

Anyway, I've been foaming at the mouth worried about making a living, being homeless, and all that. But I'm trying to let all that go. I'm a happening gal. I'm ready for a change! I'm good at many things; it's just figuring out how to get paid for these things. But I'm not going to figure it out now. I'm going to let the Universe provide. Yes, you actually heard me say that. Or saw me say that. I'm going to try that for a while.

I've got more library work to do tomorrow. Then I need to plan the ceremonies for our Hallows gathering on Saturday. And then the Saturday after that, I'll be facilitating a day of the Gifts of the Old Mermaids. Both will be small gatherings, but they'll be fun. I'll let you know how they go.

OK. I've chilled.

Speaking of change, did I mention the deer bones I found out in the woods? Remember I thought the pelvis was a skull of some exotic species. Well, I took dem bones to a man a few miles away and he put the bones in with his beetles. His beetles munched on any remaining cartilage. Then he bleached the bones in hydrogen peroxide. It was very interesting and a bit ghoulish to look at the beetles, which looked more like tiny worms, running around these skulls inside a kind of glass case. And the light inside the case was red. Mario said it smelled like dead bodies. I couldn't smell anything. I was very annoyed.

I picked dem bones up Monday. Then I sat on the floor and tied the loose vertebrate to a femur to make a kind of ceremonial rattle. I had also spent most of the morning going through Church of the Old Mermaids with my head down, so by evening, my neck was very stiff.

But I got the work done.

Maybe tomorrow I'll take photos of the bones.

I thank the deer for letting me use her/his bones. I promise to honor them always.

I'm making dinner. It's rough. Mario waited on me last night when I was exhausted after a therapy session. I promised him I would wait on him tonight. Only I forgot. He came home from work smiling, ready to watch baseball and eat dinner. So I jumped up, ran to the kitchen, opened the freezer—and took out two Amy's frozen dinners. Ahhh, I'm such a good spouse. Last night Mario fed me steamed vegetables, quinoa, and black beans. Granted, I made the quinoa and black beans days ago. But even if I cooked every dinner for the next twenty years, I wouldn't draw even with how many meals Mario has made over the years.

Not that I'm keeping track.

Because I lost the book where I was keeping track.

I kid the hub.

May You Eat in Beauty!