Thursday, June 3, 2010

Sunshine & Terrorism

I'm looking out at sunshine. Almost unbelievable. It's been raining for so long. Yes, I know people believe it rains all the time in the Pacific Northwest, but it doesn't. In fact, June through August is pretty dry. Yesterday I was supposed to drive up to Seattle for an interview at the university where I'm going to get a graduate certificate, but it was so rainy, I actually changed it to a phone interview. I don't think I've ever cancelled an appointment because of rain.

The poppies and peonies are all squashed down from the rain. Or were. The poppies have rebounded. The peonies are still halfway pressed to the ground. Pink petals are scattered near them, like discarded clothes after a night on the town.


I haven't been sleeping. Mario's been in pain. Whenever he is sick, I don't sleep. Someday I will conquer this incessant and insistent anxiety I have. Conquer is probably not the right work. Terrorism. That's a good word for how this feels. Mind terrorism. And we all know you can't wage a war on terrorism. You can't feed it, either. I've tried that. To eat it away. Sleep it away. Ignore it away. None of that works.

Today Mario goes to the doctor. Crossing my fingers that goes well.

May you see sunshine today!

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